Sarah and Mike met at Candy’s birthday party. They clicked straight away. Mike evinced fine qualities that really turned Sarah on. In Sarah’s own words: ‘Mike treated me so good, as real ladies should be treated. He was full of love, nice and a whole bunch of excitement every girl craves for in a man. In a nutshell, Mike swept me off my feet; and I was ready to go at any length just to be with him.’
Even good people have their own Achilles’ heel. Mike wasn’t any different as he was a consistent flirt who could go for ‘anything under the skirt―just to prove his self-centred. . .ego’. In short, Mike was a lecher.
Sarah couldn’t stop
loving Mike despite his promiscuous lifestyle. One day, the poor woman
had to travel to the UK on an official assignment. Her ‘Perfect Lover’
dropped her off at the airport and hurried back home before she could
even board the plane, claiming that he had an appointment.
Unfortunately, or perhaps
fortunately, Sarah’s flight was cancelled and rescheduled for the following day. That disappointment forced her to return home, where she caught Candy, her cousin, and Mike red-handed in the throes of passionate sex. Needless to say, Sarah was traumatised and ended up in hospital.
Candy cried regrettably at the hospital; she confessed to Sarah that she didn’t intend to hurt her. She claimed that it was Mike who was chasing her around. As Sarah would later discover to her dismay, Candy’s remorse was a mere façade.
fortunately, Sarah’s flight was cancelled and rescheduled for the following day. That disappointment forced her to return home, where she caught Candy, her cousin, and Mike red-handed in the throes of passionate sex. Needless to say, Sarah was traumatised and ended up in hospital.
Candy cried regrettably at the hospital; she confessed to Sarah that she didn’t intend to hurt her. She claimed that it was Mike who was chasing her around. As Sarah would later discover to her dismay, Candy’s remorse was a mere façade.
Mike on his part flooded his
heartbroken sweetheart with lovely cards and flowers. He even sent the
members of his family to plead with her for him. Sarah shared her story
on a radio programme and people advised her to give Mike another chance.
She did; thereafter, they had a child.
Sarah’s phone rang one day. The
speaker on the far end was an anonymous caller from the UK. She informed
Sarah that Mike made regular forays to the UK in order to visit one woman whose name was Candy. The woman proved her
claim beyond a shadow of doubt when she e-mailed Sarah a photo of Mike
and Candy. Candy was pregnant for Mike in the pic.
Sarah rushed back to
the radio station which had earlier featured her story in one of its
programmes. The anchor of that particular programme e-mailed Mike to
investigate the matter. Mike’s reply was studded with insulting words.
He even brazenly said that he’d stop loving Candy only if she stopped
loving him. The anchor forwarded Mike’s reply to Sarah’s mailbox. She
could now read the writing on the wall.
My Opinion
I think Sarah made a
huge mistake by starting a relationship with Mike without first seeking
and obtaining God’s approval. This might sound kind of weird in the 21st
century, but that’s the simple truth. Human feelings aren’t infallible
and are therefore just too insufficient to form the basis for any
relationship―conviction must come from God. The Bible at Proverbs 14:12
says: ‘There is a way which seems
right to a man, but its way is the way of death.’
Didn’t Sarah know that inherent in relationships we develop outside the Creator’s will are pitfalls, regrets, disappointment and heartbreaks? Now, letting God choose for us doesn’t make us cranks; it rather indicates that we acknowledge the fallibility of human feelings.
Didn’t Sarah know that inherent in relationships we develop outside the Creator’s will are pitfalls, regrets, disappointment and heartbreaks? Now, letting God choose for us doesn’t make us cranks; it rather indicates that we acknowledge the fallibility of human feelings.
A pastor once had a dream
in which he couldn’t make it to the last floor of a building because the
stairway was somehow complicated. However, something miraculously
carried him off to his desired destination after praying to God. After
this, the man found himself struggling with a flat tyre. He refused to
pray this time, believing in his own self. And he couldn’t get the tyre
replaced in that dream.God’s message for that pastor was very clear:
‘You can do nothing without My help―not even a task as simple as
changing a flat tyre! You run into trouble when you try to do things your own way.’
Likewise, putting God first in all we do―including choosing a spouse―saves us lots of unnecessary troubles. Relying on our feelings and current situations when deciding whom to marry won’t get us anywhere, ‘for by strength shall no man prevail’ (1 Samuel 2:9). ‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths’ (Proverbs 3:5; see also Zechariah 4:6).
Likewise, putting God first in all we do―including choosing a spouse―saves us lots of unnecessary troubles. Relying on our feelings and current situations when deciding whom to marry won’t get us anywhere, ‘for by strength shall no man prevail’ (1 Samuel 2:9). ‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths’ (Proverbs 3:5; see also Zechariah 4:6).
Sarah also erred in that she refused to let go of Mike after
catching him with his trousers down in bed with her cousin. Instead, she
allowed others to influence her decision, forgetting that every
decision we make has consequences, and that when these consequences
arrive they will be ours alone to bear. A friend may cause us to make
the wrong decision, but we’ll in most cases bear the dire consequences
of that decision alone. It’s like you grabbing a live coal bare-handed on the recommendation of a friend. Whose hand gets seared? Yours of course.
I know it’s hard letting go of someone we truly love, but sometimes we’ve got to do it anyway. This is for our own good. Holding tightly on to someone we should let go of brings sorrow and not happiness.
This piece of advice is for you the reader of this post. Do you have a Mike in your life? Please let go of him NOW before it’s too late. You don’t have to learn your lesson the hard way, do you?
You probably quip, ‘Gabriel, let me give him some more time to change’. A brilliant idea! But what if he never changes? Changing yourself could be more difficult than you think, let alone changing another person. There’s no point trying to work it out when it’s obvious that the relationship can’t work. All you need to do is ask God for the courage to walk away. And as you reflect on this article, I pray the Lord will open your eyes and cause you to make the right decision. Amen.
NB: The real names of the people in this article have been with-held.
I know it’s hard letting go of someone we truly love, but sometimes we’ve got to do it anyway. This is for our own good. Holding tightly on to someone we should let go of brings sorrow and not happiness.
My Advice
This piece of advice is for you the reader of this post. Do you have a Mike in your life? Please let go of him NOW before it’s too late. You don’t have to learn your lesson the hard way, do you?
You probably quip, ‘Gabriel, let me give him some more time to change’. A brilliant idea! But what if he never changes? Changing yourself could be more difficult than you think, let alone changing another person. There’s no point trying to work it out when it’s obvious that the relationship can’t work. All you need to do is ask God for the courage to walk away. And as you reflect on this article, I pray the Lord will open your eyes and cause you to make the right decision. Amen.
NB: The real names of the people in this article have been with-held.
We should give to God in our hearts the same place that he holds in the universe
―Anonymous
